Why are New Year’s Resolutions ending this week?
Isn’t this the third week of January? Why yes…yes it is.
Did your resolutions end?
So why do people ‘give up’ the third week of January?
Because it’s tradition? Everyone does it? Why is that?
First who cares what ‘tradition’ is.
You have choice. It doesn’t have to be your narrative (your story). Let’s change it up. First, lets see why so many choose to adapt this as their story:
1. Unrealistic Goals:
Too many of us set goals for our New Year’s resolutions that are unrealistic and too challenging. All solid changes happen just outside your comfort zone—not in the stratosphere!
It’s just too hard to reach to the stratosphere constantly when all you’re used to is your comfort zone. Gotta give yourself some space to grow. For most people, it’s so easy to say ‘I’m done’ when it gets too hard.
And remember that if you’re a competitive person, you’ll be challenged in that way (self-imposed), and if you don’t hold up to what you ‘see’ other people do, you’ll lose motivation. Your work here is to stop competing, so work on it as you play towards those New Year’s resolutions.
2. Lack of Planning: Get a plan in place…
Yes a written plan! When you write it you can read it and you can see it. It will continue to swirl around in your brain, and be a constant. If you don’t write it down, it swirls in your head and then quickly gets replaced by other ‘things.’ And it’s hard to find that plan in your head again, just as you had ‘set it.’ See it, read it, do it. Your New Year’s resolutions matter. You matter.
3. Lack of Accountability:
Most of the time, being accountable to ourselves lacks emotional foundation. It’s too easy to just say ‘oh well, I’ll do it tomorrow.’ Or ‘oh well, I’m not cut out for this.’ Maybe you say ‘oh well, I’ll tell my doctor I tried and it didn’t work.’ Your New Year’s resolutions just took a dump.
Find someone who is willing to hold your feet to the fire! Someone who will check in on you for the duration that you both set (daily, 2x/week, 3x/week, weekly, etc. Plus you can do this, in addition, via phone call/text/facetime/zoom/etc. Get this part in writing too (put in your phone’s calendar and have your accountability partner put it in their phone too, so that you’re both on the same page. Set alerts! And follow up. Always know your accountability partner is ‘watching’ you. lol…
4. No support:
If you’re dealing with kids, family, housemates, friends, you must find someone who ‘gets’ what you want to do and fully supports you in doing it. They won’t attempt to sabotage your schedule and/or your efforts. You want them behind you 100%. (This person can be your accountability partner too.)
5. Impatience:
Your patience is seriously lacking, and if you don’t see results almost immediately (spoiler alert: stop using a scale!!!), then you lose it all (in your mind).
There are so many ways to measure success, so stop with the scale as your main measure of success.
If you’re learning to defend yourself WTH does a scale have to do with that?
You’d like to get stronger, WTH does a scale have to do with that? Cultivate patience and think of this as creating a new daily habit. A new way of living, being, and seeing yourself, as someone who knows patience.
6. ‘Outside’ Stressors:
No, not your neighbor running the lawn mower at 7:00 am…It’s the stuff in your life you can’t control and it gets in the way of accomplishing your intentions for the day (or week or month!). Yeah family stuff and/or work stuff can seemingly get in the way, therefore making it hard to stick to your intended goals and resolutions. There are ways to work around this, but it doesn’t mean this is the end-all-be-all, as you can get back on your bus!
7. Failure to Establish Habits:
You haven’t given yourself enough time to form new habits. Some new changes take about 30 days to implement on a daily basis. A new habit takes the place of an old habit. This is ‘behavioral change.’
You’ve gotta give yourself enough time so that you don’t revert to your ‘old’ habits. This takes your entire body to implement! Not just your brain.
Only keep the habits that still serve you. Release the rest—replace them with what works now to get you to your goals.
8. Motivation was Not Really Yours:
You may’ve decided to do something because your friend wanted you to, or suggested it. The pressure of your friend challenging you do this with her/him made you feel like it was a good idea.
If it’s not dialed in to your own personal values and it’s not deeply meaningful to you, then it won’t last. It’s gotta be something you ‘feel’ in your body, and that you truly want to do—for you.
9. New Year’s Resolutions are Just What Everyone Does:
Wrong…I don’t. I haven’t set a ‘resolution’ in a gazillion years. Without understanding the above, what’s the point? To feel like you’re connected to others? To feel like you’re going with the crowd? To feel like you’re not gonna stand out, (fearing that your circles of people might make you wrong for it)?
10. And Here’s the Final One: it’s Winter!
What does that mean? In Winter, the natural tendency is to hibernate (stay home, do ‘home’ things, do nothing, move slowly, be inward, etc)…and we then tend to eat more. It’s easy to get bored. And when many of us are bored, and we’re home, we tend to gravitate to the fridge or cupboards. This alone is a challenge in and of itself. It’s one of the reasons we have to have a plan, accountability, support, etc.
Make a commitment to be your own leader. To make your own choices. To let go of pressure from others. To feel like every choice you make is because YOU want it. Find your #badasscourage and go for it!
Contact me for info on your goals, your intentions, and your situation. Let’s get your New Year’s resolutions back on track together.
Clara E Minor
Master Trainer-Instructor
MINORSAN Self-Defense & Fitness
831.600.5858