One of my online friends (from The Netherlands) was chatting with a group of us the other day. He simply said:
“Success is something you give yourself. It is permitting yourself to be worthy.” – Taufiq de Water
(I told him I loved his quote, and I’d like to use it. He said he would be honored.)
When thinking of success, people often think of monetary/financial wealth for a measure of success. In fact, most people often equate success with financial wealth. True success has so much more to do with all aspects of a person’s life, than money alone. And who is to judge your life? Who makes the decisions about what is right or wrong for you? Do you give this control to others? Many of us do just that. We measure our own ‘success’ with what others think of us. How valid is that? Only as valid as we allow it to be. Seriously. Think about it.
When we give the control to others to measure our own success, we are locked into their reality. Everything we do, we measure against what we think they might think about us. And why are we so worried about what others think?
Ultimately, it is rejection. If they make fun of us, talk negatively about us, shun us, tell us we are stupid for thinking ‘that,’ embarrass us in front of others, tell us we didn’t do it right, and/or unfriend us, we feel rejected.
And we only feel this way because we allowed their reality to be ours.
Success is truly ‘permitting yourself to be worthy’ as my friend’s quote says. It is a deep ‘knowing’ that you are a valid human being. It is knowing that you matter to you, if no one else.
When you are constantly and consistently being treated badly at work, either micro-managed, or your ideas are always ignored, and you are made to feel ‘stupid’ for even thinking ‘that,’ why would you want to continue to work there? When people are truly unhappy at their jobs, no amount of money can make up for it. We all know of people who have quit their jobs due to unhappiness. The money becomes irrelevant. Again, it is just money. A tool for our use.
How many times have we heard of ‘millionaires’ who are unhappy. What is the point of having all the money you could possibly have, when you are still unhappy with your life, your situation, your job, your everything. Is it no wonder the financially wealthy can so easily turn to purchasing drugs and excesses in alcohol? And buy all kinds of ‘stuff?’ Of course, not all wealthy people do this. (And, yes, people who are not financially wealthy also do this.)
The point is that money will not make ‘you’ a success. It is just money. You can do successful things with money, but the money itself is not the success.
A successful human being feels good about the decisions they make. S/he feels good about making choices that not everyone will like. If you are a volunteer, making minimal wages, and you are happy doing what you do, and would have it no other way, you are successful. Some people with lots of money might look down upon you. They might think you are not worthy of their time and energy.
Who cares?! This narrow-minded point of view is a sickness. It is called arrogance. As much as we would love for people to see their own arrogance, we can only hope that one day they will do just that. We know there is no way to control it. We can only put up our own ‘safety barriers’ when we are around these people. And what are those safety barriers?—the knowledge and knowing that we are valuable and worthy, regardless of what they think.
If your personal relationships are not working, yet you have no financial worries in the world, are you successful? Is this success to you? Is all the money you have affecting the relationships? What is your part in the dysfunction of the relationships?
It might feel great driving around in that Tesla. Momentarily impressing friends makes us feel good. But feeling good about you, especially when you are alone…that is your barometer for happiness. Can you be happy alone? Can you be happy around others? Can you be in a good state of mind most all of the time? If adversity comes your way, can you work through it to find that place of comfort? Are you happy and content when things are absolutely quiet. Are you comfortable speaking your mind?
We all know people who constantly ‘vent’ their woes publicly online, telling everyone how they are feeling throughout the day, constantly, day in and day out. (Yes, we can block…lol). Rambling on and on is not going to change anything. These people are seeking validation, and they are sucking the energy out of others (those who choose to constantly respond with ‘oh poor you’ responses). They want attention. They need attention.
When you feel good about your worthiness and value, you don’t need this kind of energy. People’s good energy will just come to you.
You are the one who has to want to find tools to make changes. You and only you can change the thinking process that will allow you to change your life.
You are the one who must ask, must seek, must explore the possibilities all around you. They are there for you. We are often so blinded by what others think, that we close ourselves off to the possibilities.
What will they think? Yes, we are back to that…lol…what will others think.
If you are happy, feel good about you (self-esteem), and value yourself (self-worth), you are successful. That is the bottom line.
Get your power back. Find your success. Find your place of happiness and contentment. See your own worthiness.
~ Clara E Minor
P.S. If you’d like a plan to get you on your way, contact me. Yes, call me or send me an email. We’ll check out your possibilities. And you know moving your body will be one of them! Maybe just getting more movement into your life will work for you. Maybe learning to kick-ass will be your way. There are many paths. Learning to fight is a very powerful and strong one. More so than anything else I know or have experienced. I’ll explore all the possibilities with you, and find the best fit.